The week prior to my surgery I had a full-day consult at the hospital that included sessions with an individual from each of the departments that would see to my care following surgery. I learned from the anesthesiologist that the surgery posed a risk to my voice.
Our lungs work as a pair, and because the doctors would be operating on the right lung, they would need to inactivate it for a time. During the surgery I would need to breathe from the left lung only To allow this, the doctors would need to insert a double breathing tube into my trachea. Because of the large tube size, there is a larger potential for impact to the vocal chords.
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We discussed it further and I learned that there were possibilities that I would never be able to sing again and could speak in a raspy voice the rest of my life.
I was devastated by this news, and I really let it get me down. A good friend soon reminded me of all the miracles that have occurred throughout my cancer treatment, and she reminded me again to not worry, but to place my faith in Christ. It is hard sometimes to remain faithful in trials, and so show and express faith day in and day out. This is something I need to improve in myself. God has taught me that having faith before the miracle is what brings about the miracle.
When I awoke from my surgery, someone (I can't remember who--I was still foggy from the medications) recognized that I hadn't lost my voice, that while I sounded weak and feeble, I didn't sound raspy! And in the hours following the procedure my voice has continued to strengthen. I look forward to singing very soon!
4 comments:
Your strength is Aww inspiring. You are very loved and blessed beyond measure. I'll be praying for you in this journey.
Thank you for teaching me another lesson on faith and miracles. I know it is hard for me when I am in a trail to have faith. I love you.
Jennifer, I am so grateful to have found you again. Today I got familiar with your blog. Today I learned that you have 4 children!!...and of your cancer. I smile when I think of you mothering those delightful and lucky kids. Then my heart grows heavy when I think of the battle you are facing. You will always stand out as an incredible woman; loved and cherished by countless family and friends. I wanted to remind you that I love you!
Carolyn I am sorry for the slow response. I was very delighted to hear from you again. Please send me your email so we can continue writing.
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