I have been feeling down tonight. I am trying not to but it is easy to feel sorry for myself right now. I think any cancer patient can find a reason to just feel down right blue. It is hard to sleep, it is hard to eat, and it is just plain difficult to being sick day after day after day. Always looking forward to the next week when you hope you will start feeling a little better. Being tired and kind of low is the name of the game with treatment.
As I have contemplated my own whoa is me. I have come across some blessings I have received which have been brought to my attention through other patients I have met or circumstances that have occurred. They have brought me to reflect a little less on the negative and sharpened my attention to the details God is daily blessing me with.
This Tuesday I will conclude 6 weeks of radiation. I will have been radiated with 60 greys of radiation in three spots. My radiation doctor has warned me several times that I may get blisters, rashing or a sunburn. I spoke with another patient at the cancer center this week and she said she has had burning and blisters. I have not had a rash, blister, or sunburn. I do have pain associated with the radiation but no skin irritations.
I received preliminary news this week that my cancer is shrinking back. My lymph nodes are shrinking and things seem to be going well. I will meet with my Doctors this week and am hopeful that all will look well during upcoming scans.
Here are a few more sweet blessings we have received this past month:
My sister-in-law Becky and niece, Ella came to stay with us. Becky made me the best chicken pot pie in the world. I hadn't eaten much in days and I had three helpings that night. It was amazing. My niece Ella was a sweet companion for my Cassidy. They played and played. Cassie still says she misses, Ella.
My brother/uncle Rick came to stay with us this week. He was a pal to my son, Nate who often has too many girls in his life. Nathan didn't get to say good-bye when we took Rick to the airport and when he found out Rick was gone he burst into tears and said I didn't even get to say good-bye. It made me burst into tears and feel the tender mercy it had been for Nate to have a pal for a week. We had some funny mishaps that occurred during the week Rick was here but these things didn't matter, what mattered was that he came, took care of us, helped landscape areas of my yard and made a bond with Nathan that was very needed.
We had our windows cleaned inside and out by someone who loves us. I have been laying looking out my dirty windows for months trying to recover wishing I had some energy to wash away some dust and then someone just cleaned them for me. Oh the views now!
I have a sweet new bird feeder tea cup in my front flower bed someone dropped by.
I have received cards, letters, flowers, cash and prayers from so many that I love. Including a beloved 3rd grade teacher reminding me that I was not an unforgettable bright red haired third grader.
In the next months my sister, mom, nephews, sister-in-laws and brother-in-law will be flying or driving in to see me. To cheer me and bless my family.
A dear high school friend is also coming from Utah just to see me. Well I think that is why she is coming it may be because of our current stunning unusual Seattle weather. Speaking of weather I am also grateful that we have had the most beautiful weather lately.
Well that is enough for now. I am certainly blessed and can no longer feel blue. Phew! I hate feeling down it is down right depressing :)
