Better Days Ahead

I am going to begin my last round of chemotherapy this Friday. I have been distraught about beginning again. I know what chemotherapy feels like because I have gone through it a few times and this knowing has produced high anxiety within me over the last 3 weeks. My chemo treatment will be over a 4 month period once a week. I have cried, thought about the anxiety medicine I could take to help me get through it, cried some more, prayed and prayed, talked it over with anyone who will listen, cried some more and then I had an awesome dream....

One of the great things about being a cancer patient is that no one minds if you take a nap any time, mid-morning, afternoon, right when dinner is being made...it's so nice! Saturday afternoon I took one of my power naps and right before I woke up I had a dream that I was walking toward a parade, the air was fresh and the sun was shining. I had my beautiful red hair back and the sunshine was giving it a lovely auburn glow. I was touching it and feeling so grateful to have hair again. The wind was blowing in just the right movie star way and I was happy and smiling from ear to ear. What once was lost had come again and then I woke up. It was a simple dream but the message that came into my heart was that there will be better days ahead. I will one day be happily walking towards parades, there will be sun in Seattle again. I will one day not be sick every day. My hair will return. And my kids will one day not have to be asked every day how is your mom doing because I will be healthy and well. I believe God wanted me to know that better days are ahead so that I can face the next four months with courage, faith and hope.

I know I must find joy during my treatment too and I will try but I cannot lie when February 28th arrives....I will be on my way to better days.

Family's Time

I was diagnosed with cancer in May of 2014. Since that time I have had extended family members coming to take care of us every week. Basically the past five months we have been picking up family from the airport to help us. 

Our parents have been the major care taking force. They have all flown in, worked on mounds of laundry, walked grand kids up the hill on early mornings, cooked, listened to teenagers, weeded flower beds, solved kid disputes and filled the dishwasher day after day. They have not complained but insisted I rest or that I sit down. The time they have given to us will always be remembered and appreciated.

Bryan and I have 9 siblings plus my uncle's family are more like siblings then aunt and uncle so we will say 10 all together. Almost every family has flown someone into Seattle or our kids have flown to be cared for by them. My children have gotten to know their aunts, uncles and cousins better. Someone said to me just the other day that they were amazed by how remarkable my children are doing through all we have been through. Well I know it is because they have been loved by our extended family. 

One of the great sayings coined by my church is: "Family, it's about time." Life is about making time for those we love and for people in general. I know that our family of 6 has been immensely blessed because our extended family made the time to help us. I am certain that I would not be in as good of health without their help. Their examples of sharing time will remain with us always.

Can I just say we have an awesome large family! I am so grateful for them!

An Instrument in His Hands

I've always loved to sing. I love to hear others sing. There is something magical about the human voice. Have you ever considered that it is the one instrument that was created by God's hands for all of us to enjoy?

The week prior to my surgery I had a full-day consult at the hospital that included sessions with an individual from each of the departments that would see to my care following surgery. I learned from the anesthesiologist that the surgery posed a risk to my voice.

Our lungs work as a pair, and because the doctors would be operating on the right lung, they would need to inactivate it for a time. During the surgery I would need to breathe from the left lung only To allow this, the doctors would need to insert a double breathing tube into my trachea. Because of the large tube size, there is a larger potential for impact to the vocal chords.
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We discussed it further and I learned that there were possibilities that I would never be able to sing again and could speak in a raspy voice the rest of my life.

I was devastated by this news, and I really let it get me down. A good friend soon reminded me of all the miracles that have occurred throughout my cancer treatment, and she reminded me again to not worry, but to place my faith in Christ. It is hard sometimes to remain faithful in trials, and so show and express faith day in and day out. This is something I need to improve in myself. God has taught me that having faith before the miracle is what brings about the miracle.

When I awoke from my surgery, someone (I can't remember who--I was still foggy from the medications) recognized that I hadn't lost my voice, that while I sounded weak and feeble, I didn't sound raspy! And in the hours following the procedure my voice has continued to strengthen. I look forward to singing very soon!

Peaches with Cream and a Sprinkle of Sugar

One year ago in 2013 I called a friend of mine and asked her if she would teach me how to can or bottle fresh peaches. I had canned with my mother as a child but was uncertain if I was ready to take on the detailed task alone for the first time. My friend happily agreed and I spent one happy afternoon learning how to bottle sweet peaches. Some of my peaches weren't quit ripe but I think I recall my friend reminding me that this wouldn't matter once the sugar was added the peaches would taste delicious. She was so right but I wouldn't discover the truth of this statement until one year later. 

This summer in 2014 due to my cancer treatment; the radiation treatment making it nearly impossible for me to swallow anything without pain and the chemotherapy treatment causing most everything to taste and smell bad. There were few foods that I could eat without great difficultly. One of those foods was sweet, bottled, peaches; either plain, with cream or made into peach smoothies. I had only canned 12 bottles of peaches last summer and noticed that I was on my last bottle with still several weeks of treatment left to complete. I shared this information with my friend who had volunteered to drive me to treatment once a week during my 6 weeks of radiation treatment. I let her know that the peaches she taught me to can were helping me survive my eating woes! I think I also mentioned that I was on my last bottle of peaches.

A few days later I was coming home from treatment and there on my front porch was a case with a note. I opened the box and found 12 beautifully, bottled peaches with a homemade note from my friend. She had taken the time once again to teach me this time about giving and serving. It takes a lot of time to can food but her efforts were such a sweet blessing to a friend that could eat very little.  She enabled me to continue eating as I finished my treatment. Friends who give so much make the challenging times taste a little sweeter like you are adding a sprinkle of sugar and little extra cream to delicious peaches!